LIFE UPDATE

Hey guys. How are you? Just dropping in because I realized it's been 6 FREAKING MONTHS since I wrote in this thing. I don't even know where to begin. I think that's why I haven't written since April. Graduation has happened. The real world has happened. Me being a future aunt has happened. Europe has happened. My sudden liking for country music has happened. My post-grad life has happened???!?!?!?!

I am going to attempt to recount the last 6 months, but this does not mean you have to read it. This is merely an exercise to see if my life is actually as boring as I think it is (spoiler alert: it is). Anyway, graduation is weird. Just don't do it. Your cap won't fit and your hair will blow into your mouth and you'll start sweating and have to take off your gown halfway through the ceremony.

This brings us into May. What's that saying? April showers bring May flowers? Well, in my travel companion's case, it brought mono. YES, MONO. MONONUCLEOSIS. AKA THE REASON MY EURO POST-GRAD TRIP OF A LIFETIME WAS CANCELLED. I wasn't going to ride around the streets of Paris in a bicycle with a wicker basket full of baguettes alone, so my start date for work was pushed up (did I mention I'm a copywriter?) and I was thrown into the real world three weeks sooner. Turns out the real world isn't so bad. There's crushed ice at the office and free food (if you hover outside of client meetings long enough). Also, dogs.

May wasn't all that bad though. Found out that my brother is going to be a dad, which is cool because I've been wanting a cute little niece for 22 years now. And babies smell good. Like, what is it about their little baby head that smells so good? Add that to life's greatest mysteries, along with "who stole the great Hope Diamond?" and "what killed the dinosaurs?" and "who makes the finest pizza?" and "what's in your brother's dresser drawers?" Anyway, babies are all right in my book. Expect plenty of baby-related pictures December 25th! For now, please enjoy this generic baby photo I found on Google images!

Remember when I was super dramatic earlier and complained about my Europe trip getting cancelled? My roommate's 6-week incubation period ended early July just in time for us to hop on a plane and spend a pretty penne on fine Italian cuisine in Rome! Okay, maybe we didn't make it to Italy, but I really wanted to use that pun. SUE ME. We did make it to:

• Dublin
• London
• Amsterdam
• Brussels
• Paris
• Barcelona

Dublin was one of my favorite places. Everyone was super nice and we took a day trip to the coast, which was beautiful. A Czech guy at the hostel kicked me out of my bed claiming that it was his, while an Irish guy at the bar thought I was a lesbian because I was wearing jeans. So, needless to say, I WAS KILLIN' IT OVER THERE.

Next up was London on 4th of July. My roommate and I somehow found ourselves at an alternative rock concert in Camden. We made friends with a 19-year-old in a bear shirt, who subsequently tried to make out with me on the dance floor. Not going to go into details, but there were a plethora of 19-year-olds that tried to make out with me during those two weeks. Not because I was a hot young thang (quite the opposite, I didn't do laundry for two weeks and was living out of a backpack), but because people are just so aggressive and young in Europe. One Australian guy literally walked up to me, asked where I was from, and proceeded straight to "Australian-American kiss?" Everyone was so horny and hormonal. Kill me. 

Anyway, London was cool. It rained majority of the time, but at least I got this sweet photo from the 4th of July backdrop at the alternative concert! Yes, that is Ronald McDonald dancing. If only I had captured the American flag flying gloriously in the background.

I did get Big Ben in all his glory though!

After three nights of going out in Dublin and London, two nights in Amsterdam was all I could handle. Did I mention that I already had to call my mom and ask her to put emergency money into my bank account? Getting drunk and eating excessively is expensive in other countries, apparently. We took it easy in Amsterdam. Well, as easy as stumbling upon the Red Light District totally unprepared can be. It was kind of weird and sad. Mostly just sad. It kind of reminded me of when Dudley taps on the snake glass case at the zoo. 

Anyway, have you guys ever had an edible marijuana baked good thingy? Getting high off an Amsterdam edible should be on everyone's bucket list. Imagine being tickled so hard that you can't stop laughing, but for two hours straight. Everything was hilarious. And, I mean everything. I couldn't stop laughing and was talking straight up gibberish. I thought I lost my new watch and mumbled "the lord giveth and the lord taketh" before eating half a pizza and then stealing my roommate's other half. I then passed out for three hours, Doritos bag in hand. Amsterdam was so cute though with all of the bikers and canals and cheese everywhere. Not all who wander are lost, some are just trying to hit up all the cheese samples in Amsterdam.

Brussels/Paris were merely pit stops for us to break up our journey to Barcelona. We stayed in Brussels for one night, where we splurged on a 2-person room. All of our other hostel living situations were at least 6 or more to a room. We then made our way to Paris where we were there for a mere 6 hours in order to catch a night train to Barcelona. Don't worry, we did squeeze in a Belgian waffle and awful touristy pic or two. ACT LIKE YOU KNOW ME. What is that? You don't? Oh, haha. 

Honestly, typing out this blog post is so tiring. Sucks that my favorite city in the entire universe had to come at the end. I don't know if I can do the beautiful beaches sangria justice. I might be a little biased since it was easily the sunniest destination of the whole trip and "Unwritten" started playing on the train ride in, but actually I think it was just that great. Our living situation was the best we'd had all trip. It was my roommate and I (along with our friend from school who was an au pair in Madrid for the summer), two British girls that we really connected with over butt sweat, and two optometry students from New York that hated us all. Did I forget to mention that the World Cup was going on this whole time? Cue the butt sweat. Everyone gathered at the bar in our hostel lobby to watch the game + no air conditioning = puddles. 

I was obnoxiously fanning myself with a map the majority of my time in Barcelona. At least when I wasn't averting my gaze at the TOPLESS BEACH. Ah, so scary and terrifying. Basically, we stayed out every night until the clubs closed at 5ish because of course we did. To tapa (puns are everything) it all off, a Barcelonian waiter said I had pretty eyes. So, naturally it was my favorite city. 

Here I am covering my face with my two friends from Britain England the land of the Spice Girls.

This Latvian chick in the braided bleach blonde hair from our hostel literally wore a bathing suit to the bar.

All in all, post-grad life is treating me well. I even went on a few dates with the same guy! If I can do it, you can do it. Unless the "it" we're referring to is this weird foot trick. You actually probably can't do this. But I can:

P.S. I am super fun to travel with!

P.P.S. Mono did this to my roommate's eyes. It's probably a good thing we pushed that trip back after all.

MEXI, CAN I?

Let me start off this post by saying that those tanned legs are not my own and I had to steal all the photos in this post from my roommate.  Apparently I missed out on the whole "loves to take photos" gene that every other girl on the universe has.  What can I say? My genetic makeup is from the Target clearance bin not MAC.

I figured the only remedy to this post-vacation blues was to take a pigeon-toed stroll down memory lane into the abyss of salty air and even saltier margarita rims that was Cancun.  Literally, one of the best weeks of my life.  There is no such thing as a bad question--UNLESS that question is "should I go somewhere for my senior spring break?"  

The trip started out like any other--I was up until 4 A.M the night before searching for my iPhone in the confines of my house, afraid to alert Find My iPhone for fear I'd wake my roommates.  One upgrade to first class and lecture from the flight attendant on drinking too much alcohol later, I arrived in Cancun with phone safely in hand and guacamole on my mind.  I had set three fairly simple goals for myself:

1. Get tan(ish).
2. Eat guacamole.
3. Become friends with British or Australian boys (though I'd settle for a conversation or eye contact or a simple "excuse me, do you know where the snack bar is?")

I am proud and shocked to say that all three were accomplished by the end of the week minus the whole tan thing, but whatever.  Other items to check off include the following: 

• Witnessing two German boys take a selfie on my friend's camera.
• Attending a $100 Snoop Dogg concert free of charge, thanks to my new Aussie friend/minor crush for four days. RIGHT? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I MADE A FRIEND...who I talked to about my love for finger dancing and general disregard for touching and who also visited Columbus with his friends the following week. Very odd.

• Guess which one is me.
• Uncomfortably having to ask a random British guy in the hallway to tie the bow in the back of my dress because I couldn't do it myself and my friends were all waiting for me in the lobby.  Side note: Asking "where ya from, love?" is only okay if one has a British accent.

• Being able to look awkward from a long distance.
• Waking up with a swollen Angelina Jolie lip on steroids. Turn down for strong Cancun sun and blisters on my lip for four days.

• Obligatory balloon hat photo obstructing my face? Check.

• Leaving Senor Frogs with minimal scarring and pretty nifty photo-dodging sombrero-wearing skills.
• I feel like I should have two bullet points underneath each photo, but I am running out of things to say.

• Did I mention that I am, like, really good at dodging photos?

• The only thing worse than Croc tanlines.

• Getting to work in my whole "do you shop at Sharker Image?" pun.

• CROWD SURFING. And by crowd surfing, I mean navigating the edges of the dance floor wishing that I could drink a Capri Sun in order to liquify myself and seep underneath the crack of the exit door to the nearest quesadilla stand. 

This post brought to you in loving memory of all the people that stopped reading half-way through.  I'd applaud those of you still reading if I didn't have to eat directly out of this pint of ice cream.  Did you know that once you open it, you have to finish it all in one sitting?  Rules are rules, folks.

Anyway, that's my spring break in a nutshell or shall I say seashell? HAHA.  Next stop: Europe. But first, probably the pantry or something.

Peace, love, and queso,

Awkward Girl

P.S. If you plan to ever drink in Mexico, you better...WAIT FOR IT...WAIT FOR IT...peso yourself okay it's been real.