The Butterfly Effect

No, this is not a post about 2004's science-fiction psychological thriller film starring Ashton Kutcher and Amy Smart, but rather an ode to the claws of cuteness that sat a perch my first grade tangled hair for the entire duration of the 1999-2000 school year.  The butterfly clips were not simply a 90's fad, but a cultural phenomenon that shaped me into the lanky, rosy-cheeked individuals that I am today.  What exactly was the effect that these plastic winged insects of the order Lepidoptera had on me?

1) They taught me to think outside the box.  My brother used the Easy Bake Oven without my permission?  No big deal, I would simply remove my clips to make an instant stockpile of winged weapons that were then strategically placed on his bedroom floor.  I was well aware that Legos can't touch butterfly clips in the "sharp pointy things that make your barefoot hurt like a mother when you step on them" category.

2) They taught me that pain is temporary, but pride lasts forever. Attaching a butterfly clip to my cheek is not one of my finer moments, but what's a girl to do when her friend challenges her to a contest as to who can keep the clip on their face the longest?  I mean, there were Dunkaroos and Fruit-By-The-Foots, not to mention bragging rights at stake!

3) They taught me that imperfection is beauty. One of the wings of my butterfly clip broke at recess and I was devastated, but no one even noticed.  In fact, one girl thought I had bought it like that and was jealous that mine was different than hers.  Score!

4) They taught me that life goes on.   Inevitably (maybe it was 2001, the exact date is unknown), butterfly clips became a thing of the past.  A remnant of a forgotten era, they were placed with my polly pockets, spiral shoelaces, and power beads, nestled into my baby blanket, packed into a huge chest and brought up to the attic where they currently reside. I grew up, they became obsolete.  Change is the only constant. Beauty is skin deep. One in the hand is worth two in the bush. Yada, yada, yada.

5) They taught me that memories fade, but bald spots (due to the twisting and pulling of various strands of hair tightly back into a clip) last forever. 

Peace, love, and bald spots

Awkward Girl

AIMless Ramblings

Before Siri, there was SmarterChild.  Before "report spam," there was "warning."  Before dubstep, there was dial up internet.  Before I became cool, haha just kidding I'm still not cool.  I hate to lump us all together into a big Koosh® ball of uncoolness, but as former *dAnCeRChiCK*'s and x3soccergalx3's--none of us can ever claim coolness.  We had 12 inside jokes or a cheesy friendship quote with all of our friend's initials listed beneath in our profiles.  We made our bff IM a guy (while we were on the phone with her) to see if he liked us.  Every conversation circa 2004 that we had went like this:

Hey.

Hey.

What's up?

Nm, u?

Same.

*awkward silence*

BRB

k

*never comes back*

All the cool kids had away messages like this:

desperate then greys

555.1242

call/text it

While we (okay, maybe just I) had away messages like this:

Eating Wendy's chili......OMG I FOUND A FINGER!

The cool thing about away messages is that half the time we weren't even really away from our computers.  No, we were usually sitting right there perusing the Internet for our next clever buddy icon because icons to us were like boys to Taylor Swift--fun for a week or so, but soon traded in for the next big thing.

First there was the Pringles icon, then there was the Paris Hilton animated stick figure icon where she drops a loaf of bread and a "That's hot!" speech bubble appears, then there was the "Rip, slip, brush, AHHHH!" icon and then there was a bunch of equally mindless, yet entertaining ones.  Naturally, we'd IM SmarterChild right away and ask his opinion on our new icon--to which he would reply "Hey Sexy!"  We'd laugh because we had told him our name was "Sexy" when we first started our friendship.  What clever little devils we were.  

Basically, you can take the girl out of the AIM, but you can't take the AIM out of the girl.  To this very day, the resounding echo of the AIM "door slam" rings in my head when no one laughs at my jokes.  Similarly, the creaking of the door plays in my head when that cute guy from class walks into the bar.

Peace, love, and AIM MeMoRieS <3

Awkward Girl

P.S. Before emojis there were these: