CATastrophe

We all have our fears. For some it's heights, while maybe the sight of a spider makes others' skin shrivel up and crawl right off their body.  For me, it's cats. Yes, you read that right, cats. I'm not going to pretend that I'm referring to the king of the jungle tigers/lions/panthers/cougars. Nope, I'm talking about the little bundle of fur that you might be curled up next to at this very moment.  I've received many @replies about cats and if I like them and I thought I'd write this little blog post to clear up any confusion that might be floating around.

Cool, I haven't found my Ryan Gosling knight in shining Under Armour, whatever.  But does this have to mean that I have to love cats?  Cats are not my cup of tea. In fact, cats are my stubborn pouch of Capri Sun that I can't seem to poke that pesky yellow straw into.  Maybe it's because I didn't grow up around them, but they just evoke a fear in me that is only rivaled by my fear of girls with perfectly curled hair. How do you create those beachy waves, Courtney? HOW?

 Back to cats.  A Facebook friend was in the musical "Cats" and I couldn't even bring myself to look at the pictures. What's scarier than a life-size "cat" that is actually a human pretending to be a cat?  Though, to be fair, if a human was dressed up as a dog, I'd probably scream at my laptop screen too.  I don't know though because Simba playfully bats at my heart strings as if they're strings of yarn.  Because cats do that, right?  Like, bat at yarn and stuff? If they don't then they do now because I just pretended they did.  

On the one hand, fingers.  On the other hand, more fingers.  Haha, no, but back to cats.  I freak out when they purr and rub up against my legs, like I visibly get frazzled and immediately sit Indian style.  They're also so smart, like, I'm positive that every cat I've ever met somehow knows that I stole those jolly ranchers from the teacher's private stockpile in third grade.  Can cats go on walks?  Or ride in cars?  Serious questions, people. I am as ignorant when it comes to cats as I am on painting my nails without getting nail polish all over my skin.  

 If you like cats, good for you.  If you like dogs, good for you.  Just thought I'd let you guys know that I will never let the cat outta the bag because I'm terrified it might get my tongue and gouge my eyes out and sing "Shine Bright Like a Diamond" on repeat while bouncing on my head.


Curiosity didn't kill the cat, I did 
(haha just kidding, I don't kill anything but jokes),

Awkward Girl